There was a report today that a local 17 year old committed suicide. It wasn't too long ago that a 13 year old committed suicide locally. While we might not want to believe that a child (or anyone, for that matter) could be in that much pain, clearly they can be.
I hope and pray that I am never faced with needing to prevent a teen suicide but I have spent some time reading about it because of the mental illness in our family.
Here are some things that you can do.
If your teenager has been depressed, you should look closely for signs that he or she might be thinking of suicide:
- Has his personality changed dramatically?
- Is he having trouble with a girlfriend (or, for girls, with a boyfriend)? Or is he having trouble getting along with other friends or with parents? Has he withdrawn from people he used to feel close to?
- Is the quality of his schoolwork going down? Has he failed to live up to his own or someone else's standards (when it comes to school grades, for example)?
- Does he always seem bored, and is he having trouble concentrating?
- Is he acting like a rebel in an unexplained and severe way?
- Is she pregnant and finding it hard to cope with this major life change?
- Has he run away from home?
- Is your teen-ager abusing drugs and/or alcohol?
- Is she complaining of headaches, stomachaches, etc., that may or may not be real?
- Have his eating or sleeping habits changed?
- Has his or her appearance changed for the worse?
- Is he giving away some of his most prized possessions?
- Is he writing notes or poems about death?
- Does he talk about suicide, even jokingly? Has he said things such as, "That's the last straw," "I can't take it anymore," or "Nobody cares about me?" (Threatening to kill oneself precedes four out of five suicidal deaths.)
- Has he tried to commit suicide before?
If you suspect that your teenager might be thinking about suicide, do not remain silent. Suicide is preventable, but you must act quickly.
- Ask your teenager about it. Don't be afraid to say the word "suicide." Getting the word out in the open may help your teenager think someone has heard his cries for help.
- Reassure him that you love him. Remind him that no matter how awful his problems seem, they can be worked out, and you are willing to help.
- Ask her to talk about her feelings. Listen carefully. Do not dismiss her problems or get angry at her.
- Remove all lethal weapons from your home, including guns, pills, kitchen utensils and ropes.
- Seek professional help. Ask your teenager's pediatrician to guide you. A variety of outpatient and hospital-based treatment programs are available.
Don't be afraid to ask questions . . . asking someone who is suicidal about suicide will not plant the idea. Ask them if they have a plan? If they have a plan, there is a much deeper concern.
Seek help. Don't be embarrassed. Talk to a school counselor or teacher. Talk to your pastor or priest.
Most importantly, follow your gut instinct. If you think something is wrong, don't ignore it.
http://www.aap.org/advocacy/childhealthmonth/prevteensuicide.htm
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Are you crazy??
I'm not one that feels burdened by the need to use politically correct terms. This isn't to say that I intentionally use derogatory terms to upset people just that I don't always think politically correct terminology really makes that much difference. I've often joked that if I ever get to be in the position anywhere, I want to be chairman of the board . . . not chairperson and not chairwoman. If you disagree with me, that's fine . . . I'll even call you the chairwoman of the board. But, for me, chairman is just easier.
I have, however, become very sensitive to some terms that are often used freely, without thought and with no regard to what their real meaning is. I don't believe that most people intend to offend others around them in using these terms but I'd like us all to be more aware.
Crazy, nuts, mad, insane . . . we all use these terms pretty regularly (including me). I'm not trying to offend someone but we've all associated those terms with unusual thoughts or actions. I'm not suggesting that everyone has to stop using them . . . just be aware of the meaning.
Looney bin . . . I've mentioned this term in an earlier post. Most of us have seen images of a mental hospital on TV or in movies. There is much more to a mental hospital than a room full of people talking to themselves or running around acting completely out of the ordinary (it's hard to describe without using the word crazy . . . but you'll understand what I mean). A mental hospital or the psychiatric ward of a hospital are as important to a patient with mental illness as a cardiac intensive care unit is to someone who has had a severe heart attack.
Having said that, please be aware that more often than not I really do know that the words are not intended to be offensive. Some days I'm more sensitive than others . . . and some days I feel more strongly about awareness than others.
And, while I'm on the subject of words . . . just a reminder about the "r" word that is also used and can be VERY offensive. I've heard it used when talking about someone that makes a mistake. I've heard it abbreviated to 'tard or I've heard people talk about "the short bus." Mental retardation has to do with the ability for someone to learn. The brain of someone who has mental retardation is not able to learn as fast as those who do not. It doesn't make them stupid or any less of a person.
Let's all choose our words carefully. We shouldn't be afraid to speak (it is a free country) but we also should be considerate of those around us.
I have, however, become very sensitive to some terms that are often used freely, without thought and with no regard to what their real meaning is. I don't believe that most people intend to offend others around them in using these terms but I'd like us all to be more aware.
Crazy, nuts, mad, insane . . . we all use these terms pretty regularly (including me). I'm not trying to offend someone but we've all associated those terms with unusual thoughts or actions. I'm not suggesting that everyone has to stop using them . . . just be aware of the meaning.
Looney bin . . . I've mentioned this term in an earlier post. Most of us have seen images of a mental hospital on TV or in movies. There is much more to a mental hospital than a room full of people talking to themselves or running around acting completely out of the ordinary (it's hard to describe without using the word crazy . . . but you'll understand what I mean). A mental hospital or the psychiatric ward of a hospital are as important to a patient with mental illness as a cardiac intensive care unit is to someone who has had a severe heart attack.
Having said that, please be aware that more often than not I really do know that the words are not intended to be offensive. Some days I'm more sensitive than others . . . and some days I feel more strongly about awareness than others.
And, while I'm on the subject of words . . . just a reminder about the "r" word that is also used and can be VERY offensive. I've heard it used when talking about someone that makes a mistake. I've heard it abbreviated to 'tard or I've heard people talk about "the short bus." Mental retardation has to do with the ability for someone to learn. The brain of someone who has mental retardation is not able to learn as fast as those who do not. It doesn't make them stupid or any less of a person.
Let's all choose our words carefully. We shouldn't be afraid to speak (it is a free country) but we also should be considerate of those around us.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Putting yourself in our shoes . . .
Last night, on 20/20, there was a segment on Schizophrenia in Children. I haven't seen the entire episode but I did watch some of it on-line today. If you click here, it will take you to the video. While the behaviors are not exactly the same as what I see at home every day, there are some definite similarities.
Since this morning, I've read a number of comments on the story. I shouldn't read them but I do and they make me angry. Many of them are written in ignorance. Almost all of them are hurtful to the parents (or other caregivers) of the mentally ill. I'd just like to state my feelings on them.
- The behavior of our children is not a lack of discipline. In our particular case, we have tried just about every behavior modification you can think of . . . with little to no improvement. Yes, like any parent, I've made mistakes in how and when I've chosen to discipline but I don't let my children do whatever they want.
- The behaviors of mentally ill children are out of the norm. If you put a mentally ill child next to one who is mentally well and the same age, you are likely to see very distinct differences in the ways they act. Some of the behaviors you see may be very disturbing, some may just make the child seem much younger (or older) than they really are.
- For us, we pray for Sarah all of the time. Sarah understands, to the extent that a teen can understand, salvation. We pray for her, she prays for herself and others have been praying for us. We've asked for healing . . . but it appears that the answer is "no." Often, I find myself praying for my own strength - getting through some days is VERY difficult.
- If there are parents out there that have their child act this way for attention, than the parent definitely needs help. Nobody would want this for their child.
- While it often feels like all we do is medicate our child, we have seen the definite effects of no medication and it was not healthy or safe--for her or for the rest of the family.
- The DSM-IV diagnostic criteria is not perfect. Mental illness does not have a checklist of symptoms that identifies one illness over another in explicit terms. It's even worse in children because the signs & symptoms are the same for so many things and they are often unable to really tell you what is going on.
Most parents would tell you that they want only the best for their children. They want their children to grow and to flourish. They want them to have friends and to find something that they find fulfilling. It is heartbreaking to see your child lose friends because she is unable to control her own behavior. I understand the friends not wanting to be around but it doesn't make it any less sad to watch.
I hope that if you're reading this, you will take the time to watch the 20/20 video to get a sense of what families of the mentally ill must live with.
Since this morning, I've read a number of comments on the story. I shouldn't read them but I do and they make me angry. Many of them are written in ignorance. Almost all of them are hurtful to the parents (or other caregivers) of the mentally ill. I'd just like to state my feelings on them.
- The behavior of our children is not a lack of discipline. In our particular case, we have tried just about every behavior modification you can think of . . . with little to no improvement. Yes, like any parent, I've made mistakes in how and when I've chosen to discipline but I don't let my children do whatever they want.
- The behaviors of mentally ill children are out of the norm. If you put a mentally ill child next to one who is mentally well and the same age, you are likely to see very distinct differences in the ways they act. Some of the behaviors you see may be very disturbing, some may just make the child seem much younger (or older) than they really are.
- For us, we pray for Sarah all of the time. Sarah understands, to the extent that a teen can understand, salvation. We pray for her, she prays for herself and others have been praying for us. We've asked for healing . . . but it appears that the answer is "no." Often, I find myself praying for my own strength - getting through some days is VERY difficult.
- If there are parents out there that have their child act this way for attention, than the parent definitely needs help. Nobody would want this for their child.
- While it often feels like all we do is medicate our child, we have seen the definite effects of no medication and it was not healthy or safe--for her or for the rest of the family.
- The DSM-IV diagnostic criteria is not perfect. Mental illness does not have a checklist of symptoms that identifies one illness over another in explicit terms. It's even worse in children because the signs & symptoms are the same for so many things and they are often unable to really tell you what is going on.
Most parents would tell you that they want only the best for their children. They want their children to grow and to flourish. They want them to have friends and to find something that they find fulfilling. It is heartbreaking to see your child lose friends because she is unable to control her own behavior. I understand the friends not wanting to be around but it doesn't make it any less sad to watch.
I hope that if you're reading this, you will take the time to watch the 20/20 video to get a sense of what families of the mentally ill must live with.
Friday, June 24, 2011
It just doesn't seem to get easier . . .
The longer we go, the further backwards we slide. The delusions and hallucinations may be gone but we're back to struggling with Sarah being angry about everything. On the ride to RI tonight, she went from being happy to being mad at me because my ipod wasn't charged. She has her own mp3 player but always wants to use mine.
She's told me twice this week that she doesn't want to live with me or doesn't want to be at home. When I ask her why, it's because we all make her mad and because there are rules. It doesn't matter how many times I explain it, she doesn't understand that there will be rules (in general) no matter where she lives. I guess the grass is always greener, right?
We are leaving for vacation in a week and I'm a little nervous about it. 7 or 8 hours in the car if she's bored, could be pretty miserable. It won't matter if we have movies or she has books, if she gets in one of her moods, there is no offering of suggestions. Nothing will work (her words in those moments). Please pray for us to have an enjoyable vacation. We all need it.
She's told me twice this week that she doesn't want to live with me or doesn't want to be at home. When I ask her why, it's because we all make her mad and because there are rules. It doesn't matter how many times I explain it, she doesn't understand that there will be rules (in general) no matter where she lives. I guess the grass is always greener, right?
We are leaving for vacation in a week and I'm a little nervous about it. 7 or 8 hours in the car if she's bored, could be pretty miserable. It won't matter if we have movies or she has books, if she gets in one of her moods, there is no offering of suggestions. Nothing will work (her words in those moments). Please pray for us to have an enjoyable vacation. We all need it.
Monday, May 30, 2011
How can you possibly know that your child is mentally ill?
I read "Dear Abby" in today's newspaper and there was one letter about a couple whose granddaughter had visited and kept "finding" money. When the granddaughter went home, they discovered where she really had found the money. When they told the daughter, her response was non-chalant and asked how much she had taken. I don't know if that daughter knew the truth and was embarrassed by it or if she was in denial but that is never easy news to hear regardless of the circumstances.
There have been many times in Sarah's life, that I have been asked the question "how can you possibly know at that age?" Over the course of the last few weeks, I've had the opportunity to think about a lot of things that have gone on with her since she was a baby that pointed to something being wrong.
When Sarah first came home from the hospital, she slept 5 hours at night. It was great for a while . . . but, it never really changed. She would wake up in the middle of the night as a toddler and want to play. I would be so tired that I could hardly keep my eyes open but could not go back to sleep. At that time, I co-slept (whether you agree with that practice or not is irrelevant but I am aware of the dangers that exist and am blessed that nothing happened). We tried letting her cry to go to sleep but I had a hard time with it and I would always end up with her back in my bed. It was keeping me from sleeping. My mother told me that I just needed to let her cry. So, when we lived in a not-so-great apartment complex with paper-thin walls, I finally decided to do it. When she woke up at 2 am, I didn't get up; I let her cry. The only problem was that she didn't just cry . . . she yelled "help me" over and over. One of our neighbors called the police. We didn't do that again.
During the day, when she was a toddler, Sarah would often have something (generally involving me saying "no" to something) that would lead her to start what I commonly called a "fit." Those fits would go on for up to 2 hours and involved her screaming, crying and kicking her feet. She would follow me around the apartment doing it. There were many times that I would give in to get it to stop (if you've never dealt with it, it is unlikely that you would understand what it's like to have your 2 year old in a full blown tantrum for two hours). The only thing was, it wouldn't stop. It would continue but I actually made it worse by giving her what she wanted. Often, these tantrums happened 5 - 6 times a day.
I had a friend that would babysit for her that lived about 40 minutes from us. Almost every time we left the friend's house, it was with Sarah screaming. By the time I would get home, I often would be in tears myself.
She also "found" money at my sister's house once. It belonged to one of my niece's and was returned. Yes, I know that taking things that don't belong to a child can be normal behavior . . . but most of them get it when they are caught. Sarah definitely didn't get it.
Having a toddler with mental illness versus a mentally well toddler is like comparing traditional sports to extreme sports. Many of the things they do are the same . . . but the mentally ill toddler's behaviors are extreme and often unending. Some of it makes no sense at all. I remember days of locking myself in my bedroom and sitting against the door crying and praying so she couldn't hit me or kick me anymore and so that I would be able to control my own anger and frustrations.
The anger and rage didn't change much. Some of the other behaviors did. Two years ago, on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, I didn't stay at church for the second service and Sarah was upset with me. This time her screaming and yelling led to threatening to kill herself on the way home. She didn't just say "I'm going to kill myself" . . . she said that she was going to get a knife and stab herself when we got back to Grandma's house. In the middle of it, she saw that I was upset and calmed down.
I should note here that I told Sarah's therapist about the suicide threat the next day. I asked him to talk to her about it because I couldn't do it. He didn't seem to take it seriously . . . and when he finally talked to her, he said "I know you didn't mean it when you said those words. You should choose different words." In my opinion, nobody should ever assume that a child (even at the age of 10) didn't mean it. There have been cases of suicide at that age (or younger) in the recent past. I mentioned this incident to the clinician recently and was told that maybe he was nervous about confronting her and sending her home with me. But, I said, "wouldn't it be better for me to know that she meant it and get her the help she really needs?"
I pray that if you're reading this, you never have to figure out if your child's behavior is normal. But, if you do, trust your instinct.
NOTE ON SUICIDE: If someone you love is threatening suicide, take it seriously and get them help. Don't worry about them being mad at you . . . better alive and mad than gone because they didn't know any other way to deal with it. I have read that it should not be swept under the carpet. Don't be afraid to ask them if they have a plan. And, never be afraid to call for help.
I don't know about other states, but in the state of CT, you can call 2-1-1. They have a mobile psychiatric unit that can deal with these issues. The police (nothing against policemen) are not always trained to handle issues of mental illness.
There have been many times in Sarah's life, that I have been asked the question "how can you possibly know at that age?" Over the course of the last few weeks, I've had the opportunity to think about a lot of things that have gone on with her since she was a baby that pointed to something being wrong.
When Sarah first came home from the hospital, she slept 5 hours at night. It was great for a while . . . but, it never really changed. She would wake up in the middle of the night as a toddler and want to play. I would be so tired that I could hardly keep my eyes open but could not go back to sleep. At that time, I co-slept (whether you agree with that practice or not is irrelevant but I am aware of the dangers that exist and am blessed that nothing happened). We tried letting her cry to go to sleep but I had a hard time with it and I would always end up with her back in my bed. It was keeping me from sleeping. My mother told me that I just needed to let her cry. So, when we lived in a not-so-great apartment complex with paper-thin walls, I finally decided to do it. When she woke up at 2 am, I didn't get up; I let her cry. The only problem was that she didn't just cry . . . she yelled "help me" over and over. One of our neighbors called the police. We didn't do that again.
During the day, when she was a toddler, Sarah would often have something (generally involving me saying "no" to something) that would lead her to start what I commonly called a "fit." Those fits would go on for up to 2 hours and involved her screaming, crying and kicking her feet. She would follow me around the apartment doing it. There were many times that I would give in to get it to stop (if you've never dealt with it, it is unlikely that you would understand what it's like to have your 2 year old in a full blown tantrum for two hours). The only thing was, it wouldn't stop. It would continue but I actually made it worse by giving her what she wanted. Often, these tantrums happened 5 - 6 times a day.
I had a friend that would babysit for her that lived about 40 minutes from us. Almost every time we left the friend's house, it was with Sarah screaming. By the time I would get home, I often would be in tears myself.
She also "found" money at my sister's house once. It belonged to one of my niece's and was returned. Yes, I know that taking things that don't belong to a child can be normal behavior . . . but most of them get it when they are caught. Sarah definitely didn't get it.
Having a toddler with mental illness versus a mentally well toddler is like comparing traditional sports to extreme sports. Many of the things they do are the same . . . but the mentally ill toddler's behaviors are extreme and often unending. Some of it makes no sense at all. I remember days of locking myself in my bedroom and sitting against the door crying and praying so she couldn't hit me or kick me anymore and so that I would be able to control my own anger and frustrations.
The anger and rage didn't change much. Some of the other behaviors did. Two years ago, on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, I didn't stay at church for the second service and Sarah was upset with me. This time her screaming and yelling led to threatening to kill herself on the way home. She didn't just say "I'm going to kill myself" . . . she said that she was going to get a knife and stab herself when we got back to Grandma's house. In the middle of it, she saw that I was upset and calmed down.
I should note here that I told Sarah's therapist about the suicide threat the next day. I asked him to talk to her about it because I couldn't do it. He didn't seem to take it seriously . . . and when he finally talked to her, he said "I know you didn't mean it when you said those words. You should choose different words." In my opinion, nobody should ever assume that a child (even at the age of 10) didn't mean it. There have been cases of suicide at that age (or younger) in the recent past. I mentioned this incident to the clinician recently and was told that maybe he was nervous about confronting her and sending her home with me. But, I said, "wouldn't it be better for me to know that she meant it and get her the help she really needs?"
I pray that if you're reading this, you never have to figure out if your child's behavior is normal. But, if you do, trust your instinct.
NOTE ON SUICIDE: If someone you love is threatening suicide, take it seriously and get them help. Don't worry about them being mad at you . . . better alive and mad than gone because they didn't know any other way to deal with it. I have read that it should not be swept under the carpet. Don't be afraid to ask them if they have a plan. And, never be afraid to call for help.
I don't know about other states, but in the state of CT, you can call 2-1-1. They have a mobile psychiatric unit that can deal with these issues. The police (nothing against policemen) are not always trained to handle issues of mental illness.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Real Fears for the Mentally Ill
As I looked at the first of many medical claims from this recent hospitalization, the fear of the numbers I will see is starting to come through. I am genuinely grateful for the insurance I have. Not as many are as fortunate as I am (and I do understand that).
I've heard many horror stories and have had some minor difficulties with insurance but I don't know what would happen without it. I told the doctor that pharmaceuticals are making the drugs that would be the most beneficial for mentally ill and made them unaffordable for them. If you've never spent anytime understanding pharmaceuticals, they are constantly coming out with new drugs for all kinds of things. It's a good thing BUT the drugs need to be affordable (especially for people who might not be fortunate enough to have good commercial insurance). And, they find ways to renew their patents so that generics cannot be made often for well over 20 years from the time the drug was originally manufactured.
The program that Sarah was in used to be six weeks long and they rarely saw someone return after they were discharged. The program included overnight passes and an opportunity for the team there to understand what problems there were on those overnight passes. They could try different meds and teach different coping mechanisms. With how insurance is now, often there is someone fighting to keep the patient in the hospital for long enough to stabilize them. There is one insurance in particular that was named in parent meetings that as soon as they see any sign of stabilization from a patient wants them out. If we had that insurance, Sarah wouldn't have been in long enough for them to see some of the issues that we have.
I understand that there must be limitations. Hospitalizations are extremely expensive but I think the pharmaceuticals, hospitals and insurance companies need to work together for the best interest of the people of this country rather than the stockholders and executives. I find it extremely frustrating when I see ad after ad on TV for pharmaceuticals. Ad spots cost millions of dollars. And, there's thousands more (if not millions) in creating the ads. What if they stopped those advertisements and used that money for research and development?
So the real fear . . . what happens when the mentally ill person can't hold a job without treatment and doesn't have social security and medicare or another state funded program? What happens if they are an adult and refuse treatment (they cannot be held against their will unless they are an immediate danger to themselves or others)? It's a pretty vicious cycle . . . no treatment, no job . . . no job, no treatment. Hospitalizations will stabilize and can't be refused but once they walk out the door . . . it's up to them to take care of themselves. Sadly, so many of the drugs have awful side effects and cause "dulling" that the patient doesn't like. So, once they "feel better," they stop taking them. Puts them back at square one again.
It's an ugly situation.
I've heard many horror stories and have had some minor difficulties with insurance but I don't know what would happen without it. I told the doctor that pharmaceuticals are making the drugs that would be the most beneficial for mentally ill and made them unaffordable for them. If you've never spent anytime understanding pharmaceuticals, they are constantly coming out with new drugs for all kinds of things. It's a good thing BUT the drugs need to be affordable (especially for people who might not be fortunate enough to have good commercial insurance). And, they find ways to renew their patents so that generics cannot be made often for well over 20 years from the time the drug was originally manufactured.
The program that Sarah was in used to be six weeks long and they rarely saw someone return after they were discharged. The program included overnight passes and an opportunity for the team there to understand what problems there were on those overnight passes. They could try different meds and teach different coping mechanisms. With how insurance is now, often there is someone fighting to keep the patient in the hospital for long enough to stabilize them. There is one insurance in particular that was named in parent meetings that as soon as they see any sign of stabilization from a patient wants them out. If we had that insurance, Sarah wouldn't have been in long enough for them to see some of the issues that we have.
I understand that there must be limitations. Hospitalizations are extremely expensive but I think the pharmaceuticals, hospitals and insurance companies need to work together for the best interest of the people of this country rather than the stockholders and executives. I find it extremely frustrating when I see ad after ad on TV for pharmaceuticals. Ad spots cost millions of dollars. And, there's thousands more (if not millions) in creating the ads. What if they stopped those advertisements and used that money for research and development?
So the real fear . . . what happens when the mentally ill person can't hold a job without treatment and doesn't have social security and medicare or another state funded program? What happens if they are an adult and refuse treatment (they cannot be held against their will unless they are an immediate danger to themselves or others)? It's a pretty vicious cycle . . . no treatment, no job . . . no job, no treatment. Hospitalizations will stabilize and can't be refused but once they walk out the door . . . it's up to them to take care of themselves. Sadly, so many of the drugs have awful side effects and cause "dulling" that the patient doesn't like. So, once they "feel better," they stop taking them. Puts them back at square one again.
It's an ugly situation.
Coming Home . . .
After nearly three weeks, Sarah is coming home from the hospital. While I'm sure it wasn't a magic cure and she won't suddenly be a compliant child, I think that the things that put her in the hospital have been taken care of.
I'm a little nervous about things going back to what they were but am working on planning how to keep that from happening. More structure, goals set each day and a system that allows for earned rewards. The hospital uses a system that never takes something away . . . they just don't earn it if they don't get all of their checks for the day (they have about 50 things that they get checks for each day). They also have grounding (24 hours, in general, and it means they are not able to watch TV at all or to watch the movie in the evening with their group) and being restricted which means they are not allowed to leave their rooms except to use the bathroom.
She still has a lot of work ahead of her . . . she needs to learn how to apply coping strategies before things escalate out of control. She needs to slowly rebuild the trust of family and friends (easier said than done, unfortunately).
She won't go back to school until next week. The school has requested a PPT tomorrow. I realize how blessed I am to live where we do . . . the school system has been unbelievably supportive from Day 1 of kindergarten. I've heard so many stories where parents have to hire advocates to get kids the help that they really need. I think some of this is probably back to what I mentioned in my original blog - the fact that many don't understand mental illness. Often, whether they mean to or not, they assume it's behavioral and that the parent just doesn't discipline well enough. Or, the school system doesn't want to, or doesn't have the budget for, some of the required testing. It's not easy for the school systems and their staff either.
For now, I will enjoy the pleasant time with Sarah and will continue to pray for healing for her and patience for me and my family.
I'm a little nervous about things going back to what they were but am working on planning how to keep that from happening. More structure, goals set each day and a system that allows for earned rewards. The hospital uses a system that never takes something away . . . they just don't earn it if they don't get all of their checks for the day (they have about 50 things that they get checks for each day). They also have grounding (24 hours, in general, and it means they are not able to watch TV at all or to watch the movie in the evening with their group) and being restricted which means they are not allowed to leave their rooms except to use the bathroom.
She still has a lot of work ahead of her . . . she needs to learn how to apply coping strategies before things escalate out of control. She needs to slowly rebuild the trust of family and friends (easier said than done, unfortunately).
She won't go back to school until next week. The school has requested a PPT tomorrow. I realize how blessed I am to live where we do . . . the school system has been unbelievably supportive from Day 1 of kindergarten. I've heard so many stories where parents have to hire advocates to get kids the help that they really need. I think some of this is probably back to what I mentioned in my original blog - the fact that many don't understand mental illness. Often, whether they mean to or not, they assume it's behavioral and that the parent just doesn't discipline well enough. Or, the school system doesn't want to, or doesn't have the budget for, some of the required testing. It's not easy for the school systems and their staff either.
For now, I will enjoy the pleasant time with Sarah and will continue to pray for healing for her and patience for me and my family.
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